As I was watching the American Idol finale last night, I kept thinking about how amazed those kids must be to find themselves smack dab in the middle of their dreams coming true.   A national tour, singing on stage with their heroes, millions of screaming fans, etc.  I don't mean the finalists, either.  All of the top 12 are going to go on to some form of success in the music business because of the exposure and connections they've gained. 

But mostly, because the judges chose to believe in them and their talent.  They all came into the auditions with a dream and incredible talent and hope.  So did thousands of others who didn't make it to the live shows.  Some of them may even be more talented or motivated than the finalists, but they weren't chosen.  For whatever their numerous reasons, the judges put their belief in those 12, and so their dreams are coming true every day. 

I'm not saying that the belief was the only reason they're succeeding.  They had to have the talent first.  But when someone truly believes in you and shows you that they do, it gives your talent wings.  It helps you to soar higher and faster.  It moves you forward with strength that you didn't know you had until someone gave you that helping hand. 

I see it every day in coaching.  As soon as someone says their dreams out loud and we begin to focus on them, they grow and leap in ways that weren't imagined.  I see it in my women's circles- when we share those deep secret talents that we long to share and someone tells us how amazing it is.  That little bit of belief is just like Pixie Dust- with it and a good dose of happy thoughts we start to fly. 

The wonderful Amy Palko has started a Beautiful Beliefs series and I'm thrilled to participate!  To play along or read the other posts, check out this link.  If you're ready for a bit of Pixie Dust and want to learn more about me and my work, check out this post or go here to set up your free Fairy Godmother Session.

(Due to the popularity of my Bush Notes- Lessons Learned in Zambia post, I’ve decided to make the Bush Notes a monthly feature.)   

Music is a huge source of inspiration and motivation for me.  Obviously dancing is important to me and that is one of the reasons that I enjoyed my time Zambia so much.  Music is communication on a soul-deep, cellular level.  As long as you can hear, you can hear a beat and feel it moving your body.  Most of us have at least one song that we absolutely cannot sit still while it’s playing.  You don’t need to speak the language or understand the words to feel the rhythm. 

All of the languages of sub-Saharan Africa stem from the Bantu language. The Bantu language has evolved over time, as people migrated and moved away, forming 250 separate languages. But the remarkable thing that I learned is that the root for the word drum –n’goma- is still the same in all the Bantu languages. Other words have changed greatly, but the heart and soul- the word for the core of music- has remained unchanged. This astonished me, but it repeated for me something I’d already learned: music and dancing are essential to life.

Truly, I saw that in my own experiences.  Any flat surface or empty container can be turned into an instrument at a moment’s notice.  Full moon evening- there will be dancing.  Bridal shower- expect dancing.  HIV workshop- involves dancing.  Church services- dancing.  Cooking dinner- dancing.  The only occasions that didn’t involve dancing were funerals, because dancing is a joyful activity.  Most afternoons in the village, I’d have a spontaneous dance party with the kids who lived nearby.  One of them would grab a water container and start a beat.  The dancing just flowed.  Someone would start singing and we’d jump in and dance.  No formal organization, no ‘real’ instruments, no dance floor, just rhythm taking over in the dusty yard.  Laughter and smiles were always soon to follow. 

I learned so much from those kids about letting go of my inhibitions and honoring the wonders of my body (plus some fancy moves).  When you dance at an event in Zambia, people will cheer and dance with you.  No matter how weird or different your moves, I’ve never seen them laugh at someone who was dancing.  Just celebration and joy at the connection to the beat and their bodies.  There is a dance move that eight-year-old Mwelwa did that sums up what I learned.  It’s a hip bump, but she’d twist her torso around to look at her bum and always look shocked that she could do such a cool thing (it looks more complicated than it sounds, but I don’t have video).  It always reminded me to be impressed with cool things my body can do.    

I encourage you to honor the beat inside you and the wonders of your body.  Put on your favorite songs and just shake your booty.  No need to do a specific step or worry about how silly you think you look.  Just enjoy the motion and rhythm!  Don’t forget to smile!
           

I believe that… Love is for everyone- no exceptions. 

My home state, North Carolina, just voted yesterday to add an amendment to our state constitution that says “Marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State.”  The last constitutional amendment here was in 1875 and it prohibited marriages like mine, between people of different races.  I'm grateful that it has since been repealed, but it makes me think of how I would feel if it hadn't.  How I'd feel if my state told me I couldn't marry the person I love.  Love has been on my mind all week and now that it has passed, it is even more on my mind.  I believe, deep in my heart, that ALL people deserve to be loved.  Not just by their families and significant others, but by their community.  I believe that we should all be showing love to others by respecting their rights and love to ourselves by not choosing hate.  And I believe that if you fall in love with someone and choose to share your life with them, our state should not tell you that you cannot.   

Many in this state would say that this amendment doesn’t limit love, just the ability to marry, but they are wrong.  Many rights that you might assume are automatic in a relationship are not if you’re not married.  If your partner is in the hospital in Intensive Care, only family members are allowed to visit.  If you are not married and their family doesn’t agree with your relationship, they can order the hospital not to allow you in and you have no way to change it.  Your life-long partner might be on their deathbed and you would not be able to hold their hand and say goodbye.  If your home is in your partner’s name and they have not yet made a will, you could lose it if something happens to them, even if you’ve equally paid the bills.  If your partner is not a citizen, you cannot get them immigration rights unless you’re married, so you might have to live on different continents.  (I know TOO MUCH about immigration, because my husband is an immigrant and it took us 21 months to get him here.)  Many other simple aspects of a life shared are denied to a couple when marriage is denied.    

I am sad that there is hatred and bigotry limiting the rights of so many beautiful, committed, loving couples.  But I’m also happy to see the love that is swelling up behind this issue as well.  In my own family, I’ve gained a new connection with my cousins who are vocally opposed to this amendment.  I have a cousin who is a woman, married to another woman, raising a beautiful daughter.  She lives in another country where her rights are better protected, but her sisters still live here and they rallied around her with love and support.  That’s not the way society was when we were growing up, but love is moving people, changing opinions, and expanding horizons.  I’m watching all kinds of people stand up and speak out in ways I never expected.  And the power of love is amazing me more and more, day after day.  Love overcame Apartheid, it led Martin Luther King, Jr. to march, and it carried Gandhi to start a revolution.  One day, it will carry us past this amendment as well. 

I do believe in Love.   

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

The wonderful Amy Palko has started a Beautiful Beliefs series and I'm thrilled to participate!  To play along or read the other posts, check out this link.  If you're interested in learning more about me and my work, check out this post.

Over here we have you, gorgeous being that you are, knowing you desire some amazing thing and desperate to break through to your glorious joy.  And over there is that magical goal that you want to reach.  Between you is a wall that’s making you feel stuck or lost.  My job as your life coach is to help you find a way beyond the wall to where you want to be. 

Maybe that means we blow the wall up with dynamite, blasting through those fears and limiting beliefs that are holding you back. 

Maybe it means we build a step ladder to get over it, by building up your self confidence and sense of self worth. 

Maybe it means we tunnel below it to handle your root issues with money or security. 

Maybe it means we look at things from a new perspective and realize that the wall is only a tiny fence and you can walk right around it to your goal. 

Maybe it even means we look around and realize that your goal is really in the other direction from the wall and you carve out a new path through the jungle. 

Each wall is different, as each client is unique.  As your Life Coach, I will not come with all the solutions and answers all laid out in a perfect row.  Instead, I come to the table with questions and a fresh perspective.  Life coaching is a process of team work and co-creation.  Together, we discover the answers you already have inside and we find your perfect path to your heart’s desire.  No matter how wonderful it would be, I can’t wave a magic wand and make it all come true.  You have to be an active creator of your magic.

"Getting through the wall sounds amazing!  How do I know if you're the right coach for me?"

That depends- “Do you like pina coladas…  (belt it out with me now) …and getting caught in the rain?”
Seriously, though, that brings me to my first point.  You must have a well-oiled sense of humor.  You have to be able to laugh at yourself, at life, and at me, or we won’t play well together. 

Also, this process is a bit like a dating service, since you’re using my online 'profile' to decide if you want to enter into a committed relationship with me and your dreams.  I also only work with clients who I feel will benefit from working with me.  I’ll be honest and open and you just have to trust your gut.  At least you won’t have to set up a fake emergency call to get out of our session if we’re not a match.  ;)  

OK, so you know there will be laughter.  However, please be assured that I will not laugh at your hurts or fears or dreams, no matter how hard to find or far away or small they feel at first.  I will hold our time sacred (that means it’s special- it doesn’t mean there will be no fun) and nurture your dreams along with you.  I will be dedicated to your growth and send you positivity and good mojo as often as you need it.  I will be your personal cheerleader, as any forward movement is worthy of a virtual champagne popping and a few cupcakes (with a gluten-free option, of course)! 

If you need a gentle nudge or a good kick in the pants, I’m here for that too.  I’m here to see you stretch into your own divine marvelousness and I won’t let you accept your own self-imposed limitations.  I’m here to hold up a mirror for you to see your awesomeness reflected back and then to help you break down the walls of your comfort zone so you can get to where the magic happens. 

I’m NOT your coach if any of those lines sound way too woo-woo or if you can’t accept your own marvelous fabulosity. 

I’m NOT your coach if you like your comfort zone too much to stretch outside of it a few steps at a time. 

I’m NOT your coach if my writing and tone don’t resonate with you, or if my made-up words bother you (or random musical interludes, for that matter). 

And it’s perfectly okay if I’m NOT your coach.  We all have our own vibe and I appreciate you even if you’re not my client (diversity is the spice of life). 

I AM your coach if you’re willing to leap forward into your full potential, without letting your fear hold you back. 

I AM your coach if you’re ready to discover your own dance, even if the tune is by a band only you can hear (yet, anyway). 

I AM your coach if you know you’re the creator of your life and you’re ready to paint the next layer of this masterpiece. 

If you think we are a match and you are ready to work with me, please check out my Work page for more info on how we could work together.  Or email me for a free Fairy Godmother Session so we can have our first date.