(Due to the popularity of my Bush Notes- Lessons Learned in Zambia post, I’ve decided to make the Bush Notes a monthly feature.)   

Music is a huge source of inspiration and motivation for me.  Obviously dancing is important to me and that is one of the reasons that I enjoyed my time Zambia so much.  Music is communication on a soul-deep, cellular level.  As long as you can hear, you can hear a beat and feel it moving your body.  Most of us have at least one song that we absolutely cannot sit still while it’s playing.  You don’t need to speak the language or understand the words to feel the rhythm. 

All of the languages of sub-Saharan Africa stem from the Bantu language. The Bantu language has evolved over time, as people migrated and moved away, forming 250 separate languages. But the remarkable thing that I learned is that the root for the word drum –n’goma- is still the same in all the Bantu languages. Other words have changed greatly, but the heart and soul- the word for the core of music- has remained unchanged. This astonished me, but it repeated for me something I’d already learned: music and dancing are essential to life.

Truly, I saw that in my own experiences.  Any flat surface or empty container can be turned into an instrument at a moment’s notice.  Full moon evening- there will be dancing.  Bridal shower- expect dancing.  HIV workshop- involves dancing.  Church services- dancing.  Cooking dinner- dancing.  The only occasions that didn’t involve dancing were funerals, because dancing is a joyful activity.  Most afternoons in the village, I’d have a spontaneous dance party with the kids who lived nearby.  One of them would grab a water container and start a beat.  The dancing just flowed.  Someone would start singing and we’d jump in and dance.  No formal organization, no ‘real’ instruments, no dance floor, just rhythm taking over in the dusty yard.  Laughter and smiles were always soon to follow. 

I learned so much from those kids about letting go of my inhibitions and honoring the wonders of my body (plus some fancy moves).  When you dance at an event in Zambia, people will cheer and dance with you.  No matter how weird or different your moves, I’ve never seen them laugh at someone who was dancing.  Just celebration and joy at the connection to the beat and their bodies.  There is a dance move that eight-year-old Mwelwa did that sums up what I learned.  It’s a hip bump, but she’d twist her torso around to look at her bum and always look shocked that she could do such a cool thing (it looks more complicated than it sounds, but I don’t have video).  It always reminded me to be impressed with cool things my body can do.    

I encourage you to honor the beat inside you and the wonders of your body.  Put on your favorite songs and just shake your booty.  No need to do a specific step or worry about how silly you think you look.  Just enjoy the motion and rhythm!  Don’t forget to smile!
           

I believe that… Love is for everyone- no exceptions. 

My home state, North Carolina, just voted yesterday to add an amendment to our state constitution that says “Marriage between one man and one woman is the only domestic legal union that shall be valid or recognized in this State.”  The last constitutional amendment here was in 1875 and it prohibited marriages like mine, between people of different races.  I'm grateful that it has since been repealed, but it makes me think of how I would feel if it hadn't.  How I'd feel if my state told me I couldn't marry the person I love.  Love has been on my mind all week and now that it has passed, it is even more on my mind.  I believe, deep in my heart, that ALL people deserve to be loved.  Not just by their families and significant others, but by their community.  I believe that we should all be showing love to others by respecting their rights and love to ourselves by not choosing hate.  And I believe that if you fall in love with someone and choose to share your life with them, our state should not tell you that you cannot.   

Many in this state would say that this amendment doesn’t limit love, just the ability to marry, but they are wrong.  Many rights that you might assume are automatic in a relationship are not if you’re not married.  If your partner is in the hospital in Intensive Care, only family members are allowed to visit.  If you are not married and their family doesn’t agree with your relationship, they can order the hospital not to allow you in and you have no way to change it.  Your life-long partner might be on their deathbed and you would not be able to hold their hand and say goodbye.  If your home is in your partner’s name and they have not yet made a will, you could lose it if something happens to them, even if you’ve equally paid the bills.  If your partner is not a citizen, you cannot get them immigration rights unless you’re married, so you might have to live on different continents.  (I know TOO MUCH about immigration, because my husband is an immigrant and it took us 21 months to get him here.)  Many other simple aspects of a life shared are denied to a couple when marriage is denied.    

I am sad that there is hatred and bigotry limiting the rights of so many beautiful, committed, loving couples.  But I’m also happy to see the love that is swelling up behind this issue as well.  In my own family, I’ve gained a new connection with my cousins who are vocally opposed to this amendment.  I have a cousin who is a woman, married to another woman, raising a beautiful daughter.  She lives in another country where her rights are better protected, but her sisters still live here and they rallied around her with love and support.  That’s not the way society was when we were growing up, but love is moving people, changing opinions, and expanding horizons.  I’m watching all kinds of people stand up and speak out in ways I never expected.  And the power of love is amazing me more and more, day after day.  Love overcame Apartheid, it led Martin Luther King, Jr. to march, and it carried Gandhi to start a revolution.  One day, it will carry us past this amendment as well. 

I do believe in Love.   

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

The wonderful Amy Palko has started a Beautiful Beliefs series and I'm thrilled to participate!  To play along or read the other posts, check out this link.  If you're interested in learning more about me and my work, check out this post.

Over here we have you, gorgeous being that you are, knowing you desire some amazing thing and desperate to break through to your glorious joy.  And over there is that magical goal that you want to reach.  Between you is a wall that’s making you feel stuck or lost.  My job as your life coach is to help you find a way beyond the wall to where you want to be. 

Maybe that means we blow the wall up with dynamite, blasting through those fears and limiting beliefs that are holding you back. 

Maybe it means we build a step ladder to get over it, by building up your self confidence and sense of self worth. 

Maybe it means we tunnel below it to handle your root issues with money or security. 

Maybe it means we look at things from a new perspective and realize that the wall is only a tiny fence and you can walk right around it to your goal. 

Maybe it even means we look around and realize that your goal is really in the other direction from the wall and you carve out a new path through the jungle. 

Each wall is different, as each client is unique.  As your Life Coach, I will not come with all the solutions and answers all laid out in a perfect row.  Instead, I come to the table with questions and a fresh perspective.  Life coaching is a process of team work and co-creation.  Together, we discover the answers you already have inside and we find your perfect path to your heart’s desire.  No matter how wonderful it would be, I can’t wave a magic wand and make it all come true.  You have to be an active creator of your magic.

"Getting through the wall sounds amazing!  How do I know if you're the right coach for me?"

That depends- “Do you like pina coladas…  (belt it out with me now) …and getting caught in the rain?”
Seriously, though, that brings me to my first point.  You must have a well-oiled sense of humor.  You have to be able to laugh at yourself, at life, and at me, or we won’t play well together. 

Also, this process is a bit like a dating service, since you’re using my online 'profile' to decide if you want to enter into a committed relationship with me and your dreams.  I also only work with clients who I feel will benefit from working with me.  I’ll be honest and open and you just have to trust your gut.  At least you won’t have to set up a fake emergency call to get out of our session if we’re not a match.  ;)  

OK, so you know there will be laughter.  However, please be assured that I will not laugh at your hurts or fears or dreams, no matter how hard to find or far away or small they feel at first.  I will hold our time sacred (that means it’s special- it doesn’t mean there will be no fun) and nurture your dreams along with you.  I will be dedicated to your growth and send you positivity and good mojo as often as you need it.  I will be your personal cheerleader, as any forward movement is worthy of a virtual champagne popping and a few cupcakes (with a gluten-free option, of course)! 

If you need a gentle nudge or a good kick in the pants, I’m here for that too.  I’m here to see you stretch into your own divine marvelousness and I won’t let you accept your own self-imposed limitations.  I’m here to hold up a mirror for you to see your awesomeness reflected back and then to help you break down the walls of your comfort zone so you can get to where the magic happens. 

I’m NOT your coach if any of those lines sound way too woo-woo or if you can’t accept your own marvelous fabulosity. 

I’m NOT your coach if you like your comfort zone too much to stretch outside of it a few steps at a time. 

I’m NOT your coach if my writing and tone don’t resonate with you, or if my made-up words bother you (or random musical interludes, for that matter). 

And it’s perfectly okay if I’m NOT your coach.  We all have our own vibe and I appreciate you even if you’re not my client (diversity is the spice of life). 

I AM your coach if you’re willing to leap forward into your full potential, without letting your fear hold you back. 

I AM your coach if you’re ready to discover your own dance, even if the tune is by a band only you can hear (yet, anyway). 

I AM your coach if you know you’re the creator of your life and you’re ready to paint the next layer of this masterpiece. 

If you think we are a match and you are ready to work with me, please check out my Work page for more info on how we could work together.  Or email me for a free Fairy Godmother Session so we can have our first date. 

For a while now, I’ve been feeling pulled towards cutting gluten and sugar out of my diet.  I have a raging, uncontrollable Sweet Tooth Monster that must be tamed and it is not pretty.  I just don’t feel healthy lately.  My allergies are back, my weight is rising, my energy has plummeted, and overall I just know that I’m not respecting this beautiful body that I have.   We're also ready for the baby-making part of this journey and I want to be as healthy as I can be for my mini-me incubation.  

The research I’ve done says that it’s worth it to try this sugar/gluten free path, even though I know it’s a difficult one because it’s outside of the mainstream of our American diet.  I don’t even taste most of the food I eat because I just cram it down in a hurry or while I'm doing something else.  Truthfully, that pizza and cake I’m grieving over missing is something I don’t stop to enjoy when I do eat it, so this gluten free thing won't bee so bad. 

Well, I’ve done something radical (for me).  I started my new eating plan on a Wednesday.  I just decided enough was enough and I was ready to start.  I normally wait for Sunday or Monday, but this time I decided I couldn't just put off my new life.  I had to go.  And if you're also a wait for Monday kind of girl, I really encourage you to just start right now.  Not "tomorrow" or "next week" or "when the time is right".  Right now, in whatever way you can.  

Maybe that means you write a paragraph of your book, even though you don't know exactly where the story is going.  

Maybe you'll spend 5 minutes researching trainings online for that skill you need, even though you don't know how you'll pay for it.  

Maybe you'll choose to have a piece of fruit instead of a candy bar, even though you don't have healthier meals all planned out.  

Maybe you’ll take two minutes for a breathing meditation, instead of waiting for a half hour of ‘free time’ that will never show up. 

Maybe you'll dance while you cook dinner, because your favorite song is on and it just feels good to boogie, even though you aren't wearing work out clothes or proper shoes or- or- or .... 

Whatever it is, take that baby step (or giant leap if you're feeling it) and your goal will be that much closer.  The miracle is that you will feel so amazingly productive from starting RIGHT AWAY that you’ll get the motivation to do more and go further. 

When I decided to start on Wednesday, it was Tuesday night.  I actually started right then, because for dinner I had a Spinach & Blueberry smoothie that was jam-packed with nutrients and freshness.  And Wednesday morning, when my friend brought in cinnamon rolls, I didn’t waiver.  I could have said “Well, I haven’t really started, so I can have one and start tomorrow.”  But I didn’t.  I had a fruit snack and really enjoyed it.  I savored the tartness of the grapes and the sweetness of the strawberries. 

Most of all, I savored the beauty of choosing my own radiant health over the temporary sweetness of a pastry laden with sugar and artificial ingredients.  Choose your own beautiful dream right now.  In this moment, because this moment is the only one you’re guaranteed.     

If you also have struggled with eating or with feeling unhealthy, Goddess Leonie’s Radiant Goddess E-course is starting next week as a group cycle or you can start it on your own right now.  That is an affiliate link, because I truly adore her Goddess Circle and the magics you can access there and I believe we should all join the circle.  I’m using the e-course as the basis for my own new eating plan, so let me know if you sign up and we can check in with each other for support!

If you need support in taking your giant leaps and honoring your own beauty, please check out my Work page for more info on how we could work together.  Or email me for a free Fairy Godmother Session to dig into your dreams and see what magics we can find. 

One of the comments on my What's the Best? post resonated as a comment that so many women might have made. 

RT said "Reading your blog made me smile.   It really struck deep.   I'm the kind of person to think that their "best case scenario" is the dream that will never come true and their "worst case scenario" is reality.  I'm working on believing that I can have a "best case scenario" reality."

So many of us let ourselves be paralyzed by that fear that the Best Case is just a pipe dream.  We focus so much on what we don't have and it locks us into that place of lack.  We dream of the future and it never comes.  And one of the reasons is that we don't ACT.  We say, "Oprah would never read my book", so we don't even write.  In my post, the whole scenario hinged on Gayle buying my book for Oprah.  But if I never write it, she can't possibly buy it.  Maybe she still won't, but there is ZERO chance of her extracting it from my head. 

_"Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Maybe the mere act of writing that book will reveal another dream or path to me.  Maybe I'll discover that I really don't want to publish my book, but that my goal is to share my words in another way- maybe greeting cards or T-shirts.   It may be that I'll never be on Oprah, but I'll have that same feeling of fulfillment and joy that my vision gave me.  It's just a way to feel that feeling and the details are irrelevant.  Without my action and dedication, my best case scenario will stay a mere hope in the distance instead of a bright light on my path, leading me on.  

Don't forget that right now is a gift- that's why it's a present.  (Yes, it's cliche, but it's also true.)   Don't wait to to start living once your someday comes, or you're wasting all the gifts that today provides.  Start to take the steps and do the work that gets you there.  Gayle can't buy my book if it doesn't exist.  You can't shine if you're hiding in a cave waiting for tomorrow.  Your dreams are waiting for you to head in their direction.  

Get up on your path and allow the Universe to shower you with all the Blessings you have in store.    

If you need support in seeing your path and setting your actions, please check out my Work page for more info on how we could work together.  Or email me for a free Fairy Godmother Session to dig into your dreams and see what magics we can find. 

Today makes 8 years since I moved into my village in Zambia, where I spent 3 years as a Peace Corps Volunteer in the Community Health Program.  It was Easter morning, so it was quiet there while everyone else was at church.  I was fresh out of my three-months of training and ready to start the new life I'd signed up for.  I was terrified to be there all alone, thousands of miles from home, to figure out the language and culture and start working at a job I wasn't sure I was ready for.  I was excited to try it out anyway and to make new friends.  Two years later, I signed on for an extra year, so I obviously fell in love with my job and with Zambia.  Clearly, that experience is one of the key events of my life and the impact on my growth and development is beyond words.  Today I am full of memories and gratitude for the friends I made and the gifts I gained.  I am especially grateful to the children who lived near me- they were extremely patient teachers of language and culture.  Even though I was a fully capable, able-bodied adult, I never would have survived village life without the help of children under the age of 12.  

 Here are just 10 of the lessons I learned there: 
1.  A storytelling circle is a priceless gift.  Gather ‘round the fire with your friends and share your stories.  Even if you’ve told them 100 times, it’s still so much better than the reruns you could watch instead.   Some of my best memories from the village are of those story times, even when I couldn't understand them, because the feeling in the circle was of love and community. 

2.  We are each individuals and deserve attention.  In Zambia, when you walk into a meeting, you go around and shake hands with each person and go through a greeting sequence with them, asking how they are and how their family is.  You don’t just wave hello at the whole bunch- that will be offensive and get you nowhere.  Back in American settings, I've found that instead of just plowing into asking someone something- like at the grocery store- if I first ask them how they are and really listen, it changes the experience.  It's more personal and connected and feels so much better.  

3.  A smile can still light up a room, even when you don’t speak the same language.  And a tremendous amount of your message can be conveyed with facial expressions.

4.  Share whatever you have.  I can't count the number of times I'd see two kids sharing one pair of shoes- each wearing one shoe.  There is no greater example of sharing than that.  And my neighbors always offered to share their food with me, no matter how little of it they had.  No matter how little I think I have, I ALWAYS have enough to share with someone else.    

5.  Make an honest effort.  In my meetings, my caveman Bemba normally got my message across (Boil water.  Wash Hands.  No diarrhea.) and there was always a translator to assist me when it wouldn't.  But, the fact that I showed that I was trying to learn the language and making a genuine effort was always well appreciated by my audience.  I always got shocked comments from people who were so moved that I'd tried, even though I murdered their language.  It's always worth it to try to use your skills, even when you're not yet an expert. 

6.  Imagination opens the whole world up for your exploration.  Zambian kids create the coolest toys.  They make their own soccer balls out of plastic grocery bags and string, make real moving toy cars out of juice boxes and flip flops, and use charcoal for chalk.  I was constantly in awe of their ability to create something out of nothing. 

7.  One woman's trash is another's treasure.  I know this is a clichéd statement, but I saw it for truth in the village.  I learned to look at my trash and at recycling in a whole new light.  I didn't throw away plastic bottles- I saved them to reuse or to share with my neighbors.  I even sent my charcoal brazier home with the kids every day after I finished cooking; because they used them to keep warm while they slept (I had enough blankets and preferred them).  The ashes then came back to me and went into my pit latrine to reduce odors.  Nothing wasted.   


8.  There is always room for joy.  Laugh, sing, dance.  My friends and neighbors in Zambia were not always well fed.  There were periods when the harvest was poor and they were starving or sick.  However, they were always laughing and singing and dancing.  If they can choose joy when they're dealing with so much, how can I not choose it just because I'm having some minor trial?  Also, any empty container or flat surface can be a drum.  There is never a good excuse not to dance.  

9.  You can find love in the most unexpected of places.  I met my husband in the market, in front of the used tires and miscellaneous metals.  It was over a year later that we started dating, but the market will always be special for us, since that's where we first met. 

10.  NOTHING tastes as good as fresh, warm peanut butter pounded with your own two hands. 

Thank you, Zambia!  You are always my second home and I'm so grateful for the multitude of blessings you gave me.  Thank you to all the beautiful people who are now part of my life and my heart because of that adventure!

If you need support in seeking out your dreams, please check out my Work page for more info on how we could work together.  Or email me for a free Fairy Godmother Session to dig into your dreams and see what magics we can find. 

Yesterday was one of the best days I've had in a long time.  I laughed so hard I couldn't breathe and my throat is sore today from it. 

It's also the day I found out my little sister has endometrial cancer. 

I know it sounds like those two statements can't possibly both be true, but they are.  Her cancer is in the earliest, least aggressive stage and her doctor was very positive about the hormone treatments working for her. 

This is not my family's first round with cancer.  Thirteen years ago, my dad was diagnosed with stage four terminal sebaceous cell carcinoma.  Today, he's as healthy and happy as ever.  Chemo took a lot out of him, but he never lost his sense of humor or his positive attitude.  (This is a man who wore his Cat in the Hat hat for his Sam's Club photo ID so that the door greeters and cashiers would smile when he came in.)  He baked cakes for his chemo nurses and took them gifts every week.  He's a farmer, but he retired after his diagnosis because he didn't have the energy for the labor intensive farm work.  He took up sewing with his new-found free time and started making pillows for the chemo center to give the patients during their treatments.  He made floor pillows for everyone he knew (I still have 3 of them).  He and my mom made a book of the inspirational statements they found, including what Cancer CANNOT Do.  They still give them to anyone they know who is affected by cancer.   It took a toll on all of us, but the positivity and humor that we found certainly had a profound impact on his healing and helped us all cope with such a difficult situation. 

My whole family is full of smartasses and we make wise crack comments all the time when we're together.  Yesterday was no different.  And my sister was leading the charge.  Her doctor had a bit of trouble finding her cervix during the exam.  Her response was "Oh, has it gone on a walkabout again?  Well, keep looking, I'm not going anywhere."  Her doctor cracked up and the room was full of smiles instead of sadness. 

My sister's current treatment plan is hormone therapy and doesn't include radiation or chemo or surgery, so hopefully she won't have to deal with the worst of the side effects of cancer.  Her outlook is sunny and she is full of the best medicines- love, laughter, and support.  The forecast is brilliant and today truly is a Good Friday!

If you need a little medicine, here's a video that's sure to activate your laugh muscles:

One of my Spring photos, with some words of inspiration for you! 

“The reason birds can fly and we can't is simply because they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings.” ― J.M. Barrie

If you need support in having faith in your wings, please check out my Work page for more info on how we could work together.  Or email mefor a free Fairy Godmother Session to dig into your dreams and see what magics we can find. 

Every day is a new day. 

I know this, in my head, but in spring, I really get it.  Suddenly, the world is created anew every day.  On Tuesday, as I was driving home, I noticed that my neighborhood is suddenly bursting with pink in all shades.  The azaleas are blooming and it’s a festival of delight to see the color suddenly all over the place.  I couldn't remember seeing them before that moment, so it seemed like overnight everything was brand new. 

Last night, I saw that the basil seeds I planted are now little baby basil plants (very exciting, since I’m not the greenest-thumbed gal!) in only a few short days.  This fresh newness is inspiring and invigorating me.  I’m feeling more motivated to create and write and do.  During our Spring Equinox celebration, my friend was sharing what she read about the energy inside a seed.  She said that they actually start to vibrate inside, until they break forth with a new plant.  Just imagine: a whole new life bursting forth, because there was too much to do and create to stay inside that safe seed casing. 

That’s exactly the feeling that I get in spring- that there is so much to do and so many things to see and so much life to live!!!!  I feel likethe dog in Up! “Oh! A Ball! Oh, boy! Oh, boy! A Ball! Squirrel!”- just constantly amazed by the world I live in.  I’m writing and creating and taking photos and just soaking up the joy that the universe is full of.  Yes, ordinary things still go on, like bills and doctor visits and taxes.  Unpleasant things don't disappear when the flowers bloom.  But the flowers are reminding me that I can choose to bloom where I am, even if it’s not the perfect spot just yet.  There is much joy in the blooming and so I do. 

Every day really is a new day and a new opportunity to bloom. 

What about you?  Do the seasons affect your mood?  And, if you’re in the Southern Hemisphere, what does the energy of your season shift feel like?